An estimated 19 liters of human blood was cleaned up after the Nekoge High School festival earlier today, where students, Io Otonashi and Sakaki Inui, were said to be serving crepes with the help of Tsumiki Miniwa, Hime Haruno, and Mayoi Katase. Here, on this usually quiet campus, countless female students and visitors alike seem to have been repeatedly suffering from massive blood ejections through the nose. The cause is, as of yet, unconfirmed, but it is believed to stem from the afore-mentioned Io Otonashi. Honor student, Io Otonashi, long time friend and companion of Sakaki, was reported to be wearing a…”sexy host outfit”, and smiling handsomely at passing customers. Even the crepe shop’s own help wasn’t immune, as both Tsumiki Miniwa and Hime Haruno are thought to have sustained massive blood loss.
Fellow crepe-craftsman, Sakaki Inui also seems to have sustained injury, though it is not believed to be of the same cause as the female victims. Authorities have reason to believe he suffered multiple blunt-force traumas prior to, and during, the school festival.
Law enforcement is now on the search for the group of 5 students, 2 male, 3 female, suspected of mass adorableness and gentlemanly charm. The two males, as mentioned, are believed to be wearing “sexy host” uniforms, and two of the females, Hime Haruno and Mayoi Katase, were last seen in maid costumes, resembling…*ahem* “newlyweds”, while the third female, Tsumiki Miniwa is in a lovingly, handmade cat-mascot outfit. Citizens are warned of massive amounts of cuteness currently on the loose and advised to seek medical attention should they begin to eject suspiciously large amounts of blood through their nasal cavities. …and that’s all I got for the “news report” gimmick. Hope you liked it, I wanted to keep the fun from the episode going. :3